My Life as a Splatted Flat Quarterback


In this latest hardcover edition with black-and-white illustrations, our bungling hero, Wally McDoogle, runs into trouble-this time by unfairly judging others. What if every time you gossiped about somebody, you turned into the person you were gossiping about?! After a series of mistaken identities, Wally finds himself playing quarterback in the Super Bowl (a lot of fun for about 2.3 seconds). But it's not until he tries to see people through the eyes of God that he realizes it's better to love than to judge. Parents will love to watch their kids giggling along to the hilarious antics of Wally while learning important life lessons and a love of reading.


My Life As a Prickly Porcupine from the Planet Pluto


There's nothing wrong with a little cheating on a test, right? WRONG!

And so begins another McDoogle disaster as one little lie leads to a bigger lie that leads to a humongously, out-of-control lie! When the chaos reaches its peak, the entire world thinks it's under attack by a space alien- that has a striking resemblance to a giant porcupine. Wally, the giant porcupine space alien, is pursued by tanks, helicopters, even a guided missile or two - not to mention his old friends at SOS (Save Our Slugs) who are now, oddly enough, trying to save him! In this hair-raising (er, make that quill-raising) misadventure, our boy blunder learns that honesty really is the best policy.


My Life as a Belching Baboon with Bad Breath


Wally's got a bad case of the "I WANTS!" All his friends have way cooler stuff than he does, and he hates it. Even his prayers have turned into, "Dear God, gimmie, gimmie, gimmie, oh yeah, and gimmie some more" . . . Until Dad drags him along on some aid project to Africa . . . Until Wally gets majorly lost in the wilderness . . . Until he's attacked by hiccupping hippos, rampaging rhinos, and a herd of baboons who have some pretty weird eating habits . . . Until he meets a boy his age who shows him what really counts in life and the key to real happiness.

 


My Life as a Tarantula Toe Tickler

Trying to be more independent, Wally hides a minor mistake. But minor mistakes lead to major mishaps! Soon he begins working for Junior Genius (the boy, super-inventor from My Life as a Skysurfing Skateboarder). He becomes a human guinea pig to such backfiring experiments as the G.O.O.F., a mind magnifier that doesn’t increase his brain size but grows his ears until he becomes a human hang glider. Later, he is bronco-busting a giant, flying snail. But that’s nothing compared to Tina, the giggling tarantula, whom he accidentally grows to the size of a small house. Now, our boy blunder must save Tina, his life, and of course, the entire city! And through all of this he learns the importance of admitting mistakes, taking responsibility for his own actions, and always telling the truth.

...Invisible Intestines…with intense indigestion

When Wally first becomes invisible (thanks to the handy-dandy OOPS machine), it's great fun. Now he can do whatever he wants, like humiliating bullies, or helping the local football team come back from a 0-54 score, or there's always giving Wall Street a hand n making her first million . . .
But the fun and games are short lived when everybody from a crazy ghostbuster to the 59 ½ Minute TV show to the neighbor's new dog (a cross between a grizzly bear and a Tyrannosaurus Rex) begin pursuing him. Soon Wally is stumbling and staggering through another incredible disaster . . . until he finally learns that cheating and taking shortcuts in life are not all they're cracked up to be and that honesty really is the best policy.


 

…a Skysurfing Skateboarder

Through a series of incredible misadventures (so what else is new), our boy blunder finds himself participating in the Skateboard Championship of the Universe. (It would be "of the World" except for the one kid who claims to be from Jupiter-a likely story, in spite of his two heads and seven arms.) It's a tough crowd where anything goes as long as you win. Amidst the incredible chaotic chaos by incurably corrupt competitors (say that five times fast), Wally learns there is more to life (or in his case, near-death) than winning.

 


 

…as a Cowboy Cowpie

Wally-the-klutzoid-McDoogle staring in a rodeo? As a clown?? With a real live bull??? Is there any end to what could go wrong? (Do you even have to ask?)

Once again our part-time hero and full-time walking disaster area finds himself smack dab in another misadventure. This time it's full of dude-ranch disasters, bungling broncobusters, and the worlds' biggest cow-- well, er, let's just say it's not a pretty picture (or a pleasant smelling one). Through it all, Wally learns the dangers of seeking revenge.


...as a Computer Cockroach

Through a bizarre disaster (nothing unusual for our boy blunder), Wally accidentally fries the circuits of Ol' Betsy, his laptop computer. Suddenly, whatever Wally types turns into reality…including his becoming the city's Chief of Police and finally the Governor of the state.

It's 11:59, New Year's Eve, when our hero tries retyping the truth into his computer - a commendable effort which, unfortunately, manages to short out every computer in the world! By midnight, the entire universe has credited Wally's mishap to the Millennium Bug! Panic, chaos, and hilarity start the new year, thanks to our beloved Wally.



…as a Beat-Up Basketball Backboard

Ricko Slicko's Advertising Agency claims they can make the dorkiest human in the world the most popular. And, of course, no one qualifies like our boy blunder. Soon he stars in his own "A Day in the Life" TV series. Soon they've created an entire theme-park ride based on his misadventures. Soon cool people around the world are dyeing their hair blond, wearing glasses, and falling down just like Wally McDoogle. But it isn't until he tries to be a star athlete for his school basketball team that things really fall apart, and Wally finally learns that being popular isn't all it's cut out to be.


...a Smashed Burrito With Extra Hot Sauce

Twelve-year-old Wally-"the walking disaster area"-is forced to stand up to Camp Wahkah Wahkah's number one all-American bad guy. One hilarious mishap follows another until, fighting together for their very lives, Wally learns the need for even his Worst enemy to receive Jesus Christ.


…Alien Monster Bait

"Hollyweird" comes to Middletown! Wally's a superstar! A movie company has chosen our hero to be eaten by their mechanical "Mutant from Mars"! It's a close race as to which will consume Wally first-the disaster-plagued special effects "monster" or his own out-of-control pride ... until he learns the cost of true friendship and of God's command for humility.


...a Broken Bungee Cord

A hot-air balloon race! What could be more fun? Then again, we're talking about Wally McDoogle, the "Human Catastrophe." Calamity builds on calamity until, with his life on the line, Wally learns what it means to FULLY put his trust in God.


…Crocodile Junk Food

Wally visits missionary friends in the South American rain forest. Here he stumbles onto a whole new set of impossible predicaments ... until he understands the need and joy of sharing Jesus Christ with others.


...Dinosaur Dental Floss

It starts with a practical joke that snowballs into near disaster. Risking his life to protect his country, Wally is pursued by a SWAT team, bungling terrorists, photo-snapping tourists, Gary the Gorilla, and a TV news reporter. After prehistoric-size mishaps and a talk with the President, Wally learns that maybe honesty really is the best policy.


…a Torpedo Test Target

Wally uncovers the mysterious secrets of a sunken submarine. As dreams of fame and glory increase, so do the famous McDoogle mishaps. Besides hostile sea creatures, hostile pirates, and hostile Wally McDoogle clumsiness, there is the war against his own greed and selfishness. It isn't until Wally finds himself on a wild ride atop a misguided torpedo that he realizes the source of true greatness.


...a Human Hockey Puck

Look out ... Wally McDoogle turns athlete! Jealousy and envy drive Wally from one hilarious calamity to another until, as the team's mascot, he learns humility while suddenly being thrown in to play goalie for the Middletown Super Chickens!


…an Afterthought Astronaut

"Just 'cause I didn't follow the rules doesn't make it my fault that the Space Shuttle almost crashed. Well, okay, maybe it was sort of my fault. But not the part when Pilot O' Brien was space walking and I accidentally knocked him halfway to Jupiter..... So begins another hilarious Wally McDoogle Misadventure as our boy blunder stows aboard the Space Shuttle and learns the importance of: Obeying the Rules!


...Reindeer Roadkill

Santa on an out-of-control four-wheeler? Electrical Rudolph on the rampage? Nothing unusual, just Wally McDoogle doing some last-minute Christmas shopping ... FOR GOD! Our boy blunder dreams that an angel has invited him to a birthday party for Jesus. Chaos and comedy follow as he turns the town upside down looking for the perfect gift, until he finally bumbles his way into the real reason for the Season.


…a Toasted Time Traveler

Wally travels back from the future to warn himself of an upcoming accident. But before he knows it, there are more Wally's running around than even Wally himself can handle. Catastrophes reach an all-time high as Wally tries to out-think God and rewrite history.


...Polluted Pond Scum

This laugh-filled McDoogle disaster includes: a monster lurking in the depths of a mysterious lake ... a glowing figure with powers to summon the creature to the shore ... and one Wally McDoogle, who reluctantly stumbles upon the truth. Wally's entire town is in danger. And he must race against the clock, his own fears, and his world-renowned klutziness-and learn to trust God-before he has any chance of saving the day.


…a Bigfoot Breath Mint

Look out, California, here comes Wally McDoogle! Our boy blunder gets his big break to star with his uncle Max in the famous Fantasmo World stunt show. Unlike his father, whom Wally secretly suspects to be a major loser, Uncle Max is everything Wally longs to be ... or so it appears on the surface. Unfortunately, Fantasmo World will never be the same, as in typical McDoogle Mayhem, Wally discovers the truth and learns who the real hero is in his life. .


...Blundering Ballerina

Wally McDoogle agrees to switch places with Wall Street (his best friend even if she is a girl). Teachers, parents, friends, everyone is in on the act as the two try to survive seventy-two hours in each other's shoes. All in all it becomes one of Wally's greatest misadventures as he finally learns the important lesson of honoring and respecting others


…a Screaming Skydiver

Master of mayhem Wally McDoogle turns an innocent game of laser tag into international espionage. From the Swiss Alps to the African plains, Agent 001/7th bumblingly employs such top-secret gizmos as rocket-powered toilet paper, exploding dental floss, and the ever-popular transformer tacos to stop the dreaded and super secret... Giggle Gun. It isn't until Wally finally takes responsibility for his actions that he is finally able to save his life ... and while at it, the entire free world.


...a Human Hairball

Just when you're sure Wally has bungled through every misadventure imaginable, he stumbles his way dab into a new frontier… the human body. After His friend Wall Street and him are accidentally miniaturized and swallowed by some unknown stranger. It is a race against the clock (let alone Wally's own klutzoid-ness) as they fly through various parts of the body-from the stomach to the blood system to the brain to the eye-in a desperate search for a way out...while all the time learning how "fearfully and wonderfully we are made."


…a Walrus Whoopee Cushion

World-class klutzoid Wally McDoogle and his buddies, Opera and Wall Street (even if she is a girl), win the Gazillion Dollar Lotto! Everything is great.. for a total of 1.3 seconds. That's how long before their greed kicks in. Add some bungling bad guys, a break-in to the local zoo (where Wally has lost the ticket), the accidental release of all of the animals, a SWAT team or two…and you have the usual McDoogle mayhem as our boy blunder learns the dangers of both greed and materialism.